It’s a little late, but what can I say? I lost my motivation yesterday. Bed rest can be more exhausting than it seems. There’s a reason I need it. I need healing to be my motivation, which means turning off the laptop and the phone and tv and taking some solid naps.
When I am in running mode, however, and nothing else seems to get me off my couch, seeing photos on Sexy Twitter of other people at the gym or running or working out in some way gives me that little kick of motivation I need to get out the door or onto the yoga mat myself. Stats from a lunchtime walk? Awesome. A picture in running shorts? I’m in love. The gym locker room? Swoon.
I like being part of a health and fitness community but I’ve never really been able to get into accountability groups where working out and eating healthy is a virtue and deviating from those healthy ideals is a sin. I like the support I get from my fellow deviants on Twitter, those of us who are seeking the balance between working out and eating all the food or drinking all the wine. And celebrating our bodies no matter how they look.
Currently, I’m scrolling past most of the workout photos on my timeline because it hurts right now, not being able to join in. The most liberal estimate has me finishing up PT at the end of March, which seems so far away. I don’t even want to contemplate the timeline if healing takes even longer. So while you’re all running and going to the gym, I’m reminding myself that sitting on the couch is the best thing I can do right now. My endurance is certainly staying in shape every time I need to get up and use my crutches to get to the bathroom. I’m breathing deeply to manage pain until my next schedule pill. I want to eat all the junk food but I’m eating some of the junk food alongside all the healthy foods that are helping my body. I visualize nutrients spreading out into my cells and repairing the damage.
And as I need fewer pain relief medications, my brain becomes less foggy, and more fantasies inspired by everyone’s lovely photos are creeping back into my mind.